There’s a shift happening in our culture. The negative connotations around vulnerability are falling away as we recognize that, just as true bravery requires fear, true strength displays vulnerability. It does not indicate oversensitivity or weakness; on the contrary, vulnerability is a result of being secure enough in ourselves that we are comfortable being open and honest about our hopes, dreams, fears and shortcomings. When we display that kind of strength in vulnerability, we display authentic leadership and are better able to create meaningful relationships and connections with one another.
What’s So Scary About Being Vulnerable?
Where does our fear of vulnerability come from? Why do so many of us go out of our way to avoid appearing vulnerable?
All of us have been hurt at some point in our lives—it’s a natural part of being human. Painful experiences like loss, trauma, heartache and hardship often result in our building internal defenses in an attempt to protect ourselves from future threats.
Unfortunately, those defenses can become emotional walls that stand in the way of authentic connection, leaving us isolated, paralyzed and stuck in a self-critical loop. We become our own worst critics while simultaneously projecting an aura of superiority and untouchability. In an attempt to eliminate emotional risk, we create a situation that makes authentic connection—and authentic leadership—impossible.
Vulnerability in the Workplace
When we prevent ourselves from displaying vulnerability at work, we miss opportunities for true collaboration and influence. For example, we might avoid speaking up out of fear of looking foolish or making enemies. We may avoid sharing unwelcome news because we fear other people’s negative reactions. Similarly, we could avoid talking about our personal lives because we fear judgment.
It’s true these situations put us in some degree of risk, and all risk comes with the possibility of failure. But failure is inevitable in life—and that’s a good thing! Failure is the root of wisdom, change and growth. Failure allows us to learn what to do— and what not to do. In the words of Winston Churchill, “success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”
If we adopt vulnerability as a strategy for success and leadership growth, risky situations become key opportunities. While speaking up comes with the risk of looking foolish or having our idea rejected, it also presents the opportunity to be seen as an enthusiastic and engaged team player and presents the chance for our ideas to be discussed, adopted and implemented.
While sharing unwelcome news may cause people to be upset, it also presents an opportunity to be seen as honest, transparent and trustworthy. Talking about our personal lives opens us up to judgment, but also opens the door to connection.
The bottom line is that we cannot control the thoughts, emotions or actions of other people. The feeling of safety we might gain from putting up barriers is an illusion; the truth is that we have a much greater chance of positively influencing our environment, gaining people’s trust and respect, and growing as human beings when we are engaged and open. Effective, resilient leaders display vulnerability, and their organizations are all the stronger for it.
Vulnerable Self-Respect?
Authentic self-respect naturally results in healthy, productive vulnerability. An attempt to project untouchability and infallibility is, in fact, a sure sign of a lack of self-respect. Self-respect is an appreciation of our own value that is not in danger of being damaged by the opinions of others.
When we recognize our own intrinsic value, we are able to let our guard down and be more trusting of others, opening the door for authentic connections and relationship building. As a result, other people are more apt to trust us in return and be open to what we have to say.
Strength in Vulnerability: The Giombetti Path to Transformational Leadership
For years now, we’ve been helping people learn how to create authentic relationships and open themselves to vulnerability and growth. We’ve found repeatedly that effective training and development allows leaders to harness the full potential of their organizations by learning to lead within their own personalities.
We offer leadership training and development, team building and customized workshops for individuals and organizations with the goal to create world-class leaders—individuals who optimize success by honing their capability for emotional intelligence, transparency, connection and empathy in leadership.
The process begins with Our Performance Dynamics® Assessment, which evaluates different combinations of specific traits to measure your level of willingness to be vulnerable and point out areas in which you may be blocked. We then collaborate to identify, prioritize and develop impactful talent development strategies that result in exceptional organizational and individual performance.
We build and deliver customized workshops around topics of your choosing (e.g., behavioral interviewing, the art of influence, becoming a better listener, communication) and educate participants through educational content, role playing and open discussion.
We invite you to learn more and schedule your three-day leadership training today.